One In A Million
Lupton Woods
Ol’ Bateman kept a chip shop
And his daughter Peggy-Sue
She cleaned the fish and took the orders
She chopped the purdies too
And the fryer there was Billy Smith
He sweated and he sang
As the orders sizzled in the oil
And bubbled in the pan
Ol’ Bateman took the money
And his daughter Peggy Sue
She'd look up from her labours
And she'd smile along the queue
Oh and was it Bateman's prices
Or was it Billy's song
Or was it Peggy's smile
That kept the queue so long
It was one in a million, one in a million
That chipper was one in a million
No it wasn't Bateman's prices
Nor it wasn't Billy's song
But it was Peggy Bateman
Who kept the queue so long
She was shapely as a mermaid
And her lips were red and wet
Her eyes as bright as herrings
Flashing in the net
And to carry home a portion
And unwrap its fishy charms
Was to dream of nights of passion
In lovely Peggy's arms
Oh and Billy'd sing “Delilah”
He'd sing “Oh What A Night”
And every song that Billy sang
Had Peggy in its sights
She was one in a million, one in a million
That girl was one in a million
Now Billy he's loved Peggy
With a love both shy and true
Since first ol’ Bateman took him on
On the day that he left school
And he tells her how he loves her
In every song he sings
But as the batter bubbles
Oh he never says a thing
But every week a fiver into a drawer he drops
Every week for eight long years now
Then it’s off to the jeweller's shop
“Give me that ring there in the window
On the purple velvet stand
With the diamonds and bright sapphires
The one that costs two grand”
It was one in a million, one in a million
That ring was one in a million
After closing time that evening
He walks her down beside the quay
And as the sun was sinking he says
“Peggy marry me”
And he pulls it from his pocket he says
“I bought this ring for you”
She said “Billy, this is sudden
I never had a clue”
She said “Billy, I hardly know you
So stop before you start
Never fool around with plastic
In matters of the heart
You tried to win me with this thing here
You probably won in some arcade!”
She tore it from his fingers
And she flung it in the waves
It was one in a million, one in a million
His love for her was one in a million
Billy turned away then
And she took him by the arm
She said “Billy love, I'm sorry
I never meant no harm
Oh you're kindly and you're comforting
And I love it when you sing
But in all the years I've known you
You never said a thing
But I've got a dream that’s solid gold
None of your gilded tin:
Five pounds a week on the lottery
One day soon I'll win
Oh and I'll be shot of this old town
And greasy fish and chips”
She kissed him once and walked away
His tears were on her lips
Dream on, Peggy Bateman
Dream on Peggy-Sue
Of sunsets and of sports cars
As you smile along the queue
Dream days to months and months to years
In reveries of luck...
But never for her dreaming
Did her numbers once come up
As she was cleaning fish one day
With a slit from tail to jaw
Something slithered through her fingers
And fell onto the floor
She took it over to the sink then
And she washed the shining thing
Bright diamonds and bright sapphires
Set in a golden ring
It was one in a million, one in a million
The chances were one in a million
“Oh Billy love your rings come back
And underneath this light
I can see it’s made of purest gold
The stones are shining bright”
And Billy stood beside her
With a smile like the sun
He put it on her finger, he said
“Peggy-Sue you've won!
Sell the ring and taste the freedom
You dreamt of all these years”
He kissed her then and as they kissed
They could taste each other’s tears
“Billy go back to your frying
And sing me ‘Love Is Blue’
You’re kindly and your comforting
I'd rather stay with you”
Their love was one in a million
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